The Longest day.

Today is the longest day of the year and the way i am feeling is more time to be depressed i have been feeling this way since around the 17th june i hate feeling depressed disappointed in myself angry and guilty for feeling this way,

We should have gone to a family party last night but i and dh ended up not going i didnt feel up to mixing with people all i wanted to do was go to bed and sleep, which we did, i said i would try and make the effort if he wanted to go and he said no we would stay home and go to bed, i was still awake at 2am this morning and thats after i had taken the seroquel ,

Also someone from the psych clinic rang me thursday and said the Pdoc is cancelling all appointments and is not doing clinic there anymore i am gutted i was supposed to go friday and i really needed to see him, now i dont know how long i have to wait to see someone i see Sarah on tuesday so i will tell her whats happened and maybe she can talk to Darren who is the head of the T's.

Its saturday today and i am in the conservatory and its pouring with rain it sounds so soothing pattering on the roof, as i have already said i adore the rain does that make me crazy then thats okay because i AM.